So said a local to me when offering to borrow me a mattress. Very big, very American. Love how America is referred to around here when referencing something large. Or derisively.

Case in point:

The Big One. Nice… God, that makes me want a hamburger. Hello Five Guys, when will you start with the world domination? The Swedes will understand your hunger for empire.

Well, actually, to be precise about it, we are in Norway, and they know all about being conquered, so we better just leave them alone. To eat this:

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times. Ham does not belong on pizza. Ever. Anywhere. Also, if you look up close, you’ll see these yellow things. I assumed it was pineapple, which also somehow lands on pizza around here, but it was just peppers. Missed opportunity to make fun of the pineapple pizza thing. Next time I guess.

And I also throw in here this curious grammatical construction:

When I first saw this, I thought “prior egg? Prior egg, like the egg I had the last time I ate an egg?” Then, reason stepped in and I thought “oh, probably from somewhere called Prior.”