Open wide:

Land of the gator. I want to see that guy’s resume. Do you need post graduate work for his position. How many resume lines would be needed to describe this?:

They glued the gator’s mouth together for it to have its pictures taken with children. Of all ages:

Wow, he looks happy:

He was talking about getting hickeys from the gators. Whatever happens in Gatorland after dark, stays at Gatorland, that’s all I’m saying.

Moving right along. This was my favorite gator:

I love the smile. I am in love with this monster. I pretended it was posing on America’s Next Top Model. “Fierce fierce fierce, smile with your eyes, smile with your eyes.”

This one was telling Tyra to kiss his or her ass:

Now that is fierce. Hello, Whitney a plus size, as you joking? OK, no more editorializing about the Greatest and Most Important Show of All Times. Back to Gatorland:

Above, photos of the critter sunning itself. Below, smoked with a nice mustard dipping sauce:

The non Bourdain-esque verdict: tasted like chicken.

I’ve also observed that the alligator, while having a pretty ferocious reputation is also super-lazy:

I was waiting for these things to do something. Pretty much all my photos of the gators are in that position, some of them eyes closed. They did move around at one moment — feeding time. Behold:

I was expecting flying gators, but my friend I went with said that we’d have to outfit the gators with jet engines for them to really get airborne. Great idea. How has no one gotten on that bandwagon yet?