But first the image, so the assembled crowd can laugh hysterically at this:

For how long am I applying the snake to receive the full wrinkle reducing benefits?  This is an ad for some kind of wrinkle reducing potion featuring off all things, a former denizen of the red line.  Do boa constrictors have some kind of healing powers when applied directly to the skin?  Does Neutrogena know about this?  Moreover, should I replace my once daily cold splashes with face snake rubbing?  Allure needs an article on this because I for one am concerned.

On this blog I expose people to my fake life.  That fake life where I am lion, am 20 feet tall or am a queen of some kind.  Truth is I am just a normal person who likes words and of course, the photos, ah the photos.  So I’ve written about my house, my bedroom, my kitchen, my dinners, etc.  I appear to live in Venetian splendor in a house in Maine.

No wait, sorry, I got a new house recently.  This is where I live*:

Yeah, it will do for now while the place in Newport is being renovated.  Well, I mean location is key, but you have to considering decorations.  The right decorations are of course key.  Decorations can make or break le bureau de travail, la chambre, la salle à manger, le salon, la cuisine or even in extreme cases, le salle de bain.  I follow the Luanne de Lesseps schools of French language.  Just when you need to be better than people.

Well, anyway, les décorations:

*lies.  All lies.

 

Why have an art exhibit where no is allowed to take photos?  Why have an exhibit were extremely amazingly insanely creative things are on display and you can’t take photos?  Well, there is just one solution.  Take photos anyway.  Sneak it.  Believe me, sneaking photos with a camera the size of someone’s head that sounds like a machine gun when it fires doesn’t do well for subtlety.  However, I had a willing accomplice with me in this deception, someone who always supports me and never lets me down, AKA, my mother.

Well, anyway, I won’t reveal wear this exhibit was or who it was of but it has been in the news lately and this person did gain a lot of infamy and notoriety for different reasons in their lifetime.  In other words, yes, these are the works of a dead person.  But when this person was alive, well:

It was rather amazing.  My partner in crime informed me that these were microscope slides that this dress was made out of.  I believe it.

Well, otherwise, and this is sure to give away the person who made these things.  I mean if you read Vogue and watch shows like Glee and know who people like Nicholas Kirkwood and Philip Treacy are.  I mean after looking at this, wouldn’t you want to know who they are:

And this is a lesser clue.  Swing camera up, swing camera down, hope for the best, hope it is not shaken and in the worst case scenario, SHARPEN UNTIL YOUR EYES BLEED.  And thus:

Lovely gowns but the dominatrix headgear was rather a head scratcher.

Some interesting ear muffs:

And last but not least, decorations at the world’s worst doctor’s office:

I kept going on the same path I was on before and I kept walking:

 

Nope, this is New York City, aka Upper Chestnut Hill.

 

If you like it, good.  If you don’t like it, fine too:

Not corinthian, but in the same area of interest:

Recently someone asked me how I come up with all the ideas for the photos.  I see it.  I photograph it:

Sure I have a lot of influences.  And by influences, I mean people I steal from wholesale when I take a photo.  But there is only one photographer who I actually want to be.  Her name was Margaret Bourke-White.  She took iconic photos of industrial mechanical things and she had an office in the Chrysler Building while working for Life Magazine.  This is the woman who took those beautiful shots of the greatest building of the New York City skyline that included the Chrysler Building.  Because it was easy.  Because that was right outside of her window.  Seriously, how difficult could that have been.  Set up camera, go to work.

I felt similarly when I visited Venice.  How hard could it have been to be to paint the sunset over the Grand Canal?  I’ve never seen a more beautiful sunset in my life.

Anyway, enough of my complaining.  Let’s get to why we are here.  The photos and how exactly I hit the Margaret Bourke-White mother lode.  I, like Ms Bourke-White, do not have to stray far from home to find something amazing.  In my case, I went up the street to the Waterworks Museum.  What I saw there, well, I’ll let the images do the talking: