When you visit the lovely Everglades…:

You try not to irritate:

the wildlife:

Dark photo, I know, but the animal, it is there. I bet the alligator doesn’t use the fact it is the same color as the water to its advantage. But on our little trek through the Everglades, one person decided irritating this 8 foot reptile whose kill switch is god only knows where was a good idea:

This was our intrepid guide through the Everglades, a lifelong resident of the region. How did he decide to irritate the wildlife? Well, he thought it would be wise to throw marshmallows into the water for that half ton killing machine to eat. And then decided to grab that thing by its snout. Capn’ Everglades would not allow me to photograph that. I have no idea why. Did I mention he told me to “give mom the camera and get in the water” to have a up close and personal photo with our calm, docile friend?

Do I look like someone who wants to be featured on the Oddball segments on Keith Olbermann? Uh, the answer to that is … no.

And here is some irritating wildlife:

Now I don’t usually mind the wildlife, as long as it doesn’t sit and stare at me waiting to be fed, but Mr. Pelican over here bordered on the really irritating. Capn’ Everglades assured me that the thing was harmless, but I wasn’t convinced. Pelican — you took it too far.