Santa Is Having The Worst Vacation EVER

Every hot weather locale I visit seems to sell these tacky little Christmas ornaments with Santa Claus doing all kinds of un-Santa like things.  In Florida, he’s walking an alligator or blowing into a conch shell.  In the Cayman Islands, he’s wearing his turtle costume or riding the back of a dinosaur.

Years and years ago, a friend told me that Santa Claus is actually Danish because he’s from the North Pole, the North Pole is connected to Greenland and Greenland is part of Denmark, so he’s Danish.  That makes total sense.  Whiskey tango foxtrot he does during his down time, on his island sojourns is another story entirely.

Santa, do you need some help?:

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